Is it okay to be alone on Valentines Day?
Being alone on Valentine’s Day can be seen as a daunting thing. The social stigma of having to be coupled can add the sense that “something is wrong with me if I am single.” This can lead to feelings of self loathing and self pity. Studies have shown that today more people than ever are alone this Valentine’s Day than any time before. Perhaps due to the pandemic and multiple other reasons people are reluctant to seek out companionship. They are many things we can do to lift our spirits on this day if we are feeling lonely.
The pressure to be with someone on Valentine’s Day can be intense. We are bombarded with images and stories of people getting together and having someone with whom to spend the day. One thing we should acknowledge is its okay to be by yourself on Valentine’s Day. It is important to make the distinction between being in solitude and being lonely. Being in solitude can be involuntary for example people might suffer from social anxiety or lack social skills to be in a healthy relationship. Being in solitude can be voluntary. Someone can take time to self reflect especially if that person has recently ended a relationship. Being lonely on the other hand is the feelings of lack of quality social connections. A person who has many friends can still be lonely due to a low quality of said friendships.
What can we do to help stave off loneliness and low moods due to Valentine’s Day. One thing we can do is be kind to yourself. Remind yourself that your value is not connected to who you have in your life or not. You can be whole being on your own. Take time to cook your favorite food. Take the day off and treat yourself to a night out on your own. Another thing we can do is avoid love triggers such as romantic comedies or dramas. This can remind us of what we do not have and reinforce to notion that you should be with someone. Also, do not go on Social Media. This can lead to self comparisons. Avoid also being selfish. Do something nice for someone. Cook a friend dinner or send flowers to a loved one.
Although some of us would prefer being with someone on Valentine’s Day we can use this day to cultivate a positive relationship with ourselves. This way we are likely to attract someone who is right for us. Besides, who says Valentine’s Day is the only day for love, any day of the year can be a day to have and show love.
